ytd played viwawa with hong rui. hahas. must thanks him for making me laugh so hard before going to LaLa Land. =p thanks so much! (:

btw, t0day woke up, on HP guess the 1st msg by who? =x HONG RUI the sotong-piggy. hahas. den is LISHAN cutie! (: teehees. reached sch at 7am. but kinda still half-asleep. =) today hab our National Day Parade Training. i became the timer. its kinda bull-shit for euu noe who to sae tt my timing was high-pitch and wan change timer when the MAJORITY of the people from the whole parade said its fine. maybe they are right, i shall not be AFRAID of you anymore! who do euu think euu are? from now on, i will be the BRAVE edna! so dont euu think euu can make me scared of euu anymore! =) thankews TJIAYING, LISHAN, ENZHANG, guangliang, sharon for y0ur supprts. (: thankews so much. especially tjiaying and lishan, they hab been encouraging me and asking me not tobe afraid of "euu know who". (:

training ended at abt 2:30pm i tink. =x went to h0ugang p0int with lishan, enzhang and sean. sorry to SEAN, for throwing my temper again. anyway, we went to hougang point MAC to eat lunch. saw kikian and kichin sir there. woots. (: wad a small small world. after lunch, went back home at abt 3:30pm.

today isnt a great day. when i got the msg from CZ, i was totally blank and so freaking worried. =/ almost cried in front of my squad but i held it back. ohyas, and sorry to make euu guys worried abt me. sorry. =/ i hope he is fine. and i wished, that i could take away all the pain and let me bear it myself. =/ i wished for that, cus i dont wan anyone to get hurt or suffer because of me anymore. i am seeing history repeating itself again, and i dont want him to follow my footsteps. i hope he will keep the promises that he made. i know he will. i will make it up to everyone, who hab been caused so much trouble cus of me. i am sorry everyone. i hab no idea how long i could hold my feelings back.

he promised me 4 things. and i know he will keep it de. i trust him. and i also noe tt i hab to stabilize my feelings and stop running away from things i DARE not faced for a very long time and which hab kept my heart in a COLD COLD state. i know i hab to face it all now, and i cant run away anymore, cus more people would get hurt if i do. =/ i nid to think through things. i hab surpressed my feelings for far to0 long, and it turns so cold. =/

i so need a shoulder to lean on,
to cry my heart out and lie on. =/